A Two-Part Exercise

This lesson guides you through two exercises to help you identify and understand a couple of "voices" within yourself.

Exercise 1: Identifying a Primary Self

• Preparation:

  • Find a quiet space, free from distractions.

  • Turn off your phone.

  • Sit comfortably and relax your breathing.

• Identify an Irritating Person:

  • Bring to mind an image of someone you find very irritating. This could be someone you know personally, a public figure, or even a character from a movie or book.

  • Allow their image to come to you effortlessly.

• Identify the Irritating Behavior:

  • Focus on the behavior of this person that irritates you the most.

  • Find a word or two that describes this behavior.

  • Make a note of this behavior and the words you chose.

• Uncover Your Rule:

  • Reflect on your judgment about this irritating behavior. How do you think this person should behave?

  • This "should" statement reveals a rule you hold, which stems from a primary self within you.

  • Identify a word or two that captures this rule.

  • Explore this primary self:

    • Imagine it as a separate person.

    • What would it say? How would it act? How would it want you to behave?

    • Can you feel its energy in your body?

• Identify Your Fear:

  • Ask this primary self: "What is the worst that could happen if you don't follow this rule?"

  • Connect with your body and any feelings of vulnerability that arise.

  • What is the underlying fear that this rule is trying to protect you from?

  • Make a note of this fear.

• Recognize Your Disowned Self:

  • The irritating behavior you initially identified represents a disowned part of yourself.

  • Consider what this person does well.

  • Imagine incorporating a tiny dose of their energy into your life. How would it affect you?

  • This person can be your teacher, offering valuable lessons for growth.

Exercise 2: Identifying an Undeveloped or Disowned Self

• Preparation:

  • Relax your breathing and center yourself.

• Identify an Admirable Person:

  • Bring to mind an image of someone you deeply admire. This could be someone you know, a public figure, or a character from a story.

  • Focus on the quality in this person that you admire the most.

  • Find a word or two that describes this quality.

• Explore the Admirable Quality:

  • How does this quality make you feel in your body?

  • What images of yourself arise when you imagine embodying this quality more fully?

  • What can you learn from this person?

• Identify Internal Resistance:

  • Ask yourself: "To what degree do I already possess this quality?"

  • Notice if any internal resistance or critical voices emerge.

  • If there are critical voices, what do they say?

• Recognize the Potential:

  • The admirable quality you identified may represent an undeveloped self within you, waiting to be expressed.

  • If you experience judgment around this quality, it may indicate a disowned part of yourself.

  • Remember, the qualities you admire in others exist within you too. Freeing yourself to express these qualities can lead to greater wholeness and personal growth.