Chapter 8:The Power of Discernment
9.1 The Importance of Ethical Decision-Making
Every decision we make as leaders has consequences—for ourselves, our teams, and the world around us. Yet, in the rush of daily responsibilities, it’s easy to make decisions on autopilot, driven by habit, pressure, or unconscious biases.
Ethical decision-making requires more than good intentions—it requires discernment, the ability to see clearly and choose wisely. This is where the concept of the aware ego comes in. The aware ego, as described by Hal and Sidra Stone, is the part of us that can observe and integrate different aspects of ourselves, making decisions from a place of clarity and balance.
Without awareness, decisions become reactive, driven by unconscious patterns or external pressures. As the Stones famously said, “Unaware people are dangerous”—not because they’re malicious, but because their decisions lack discernment.
9.2 The Aware Ego and Discernment
The aware ego is the bridge between our conscious and unconscious selves. It allows us to:
Observe our thoughts, emotions, and impulses without being controlled by them.
Integrate conflicting aspects of ourselves, such as our inner critic and inner nurturer.
Make decisions from a place of clarity, balance, and alignment with our values.
Discernment, a key principle in yoga philosophy, is the ability to distinguish between what is true and what is false, what is beneficial and what is harmful. It’s about seeing clearly and choosing wisely, even in complex or uncertain situations.
9.3 Traditional Practices for Ethical Decision-Making
Traditional yoga philosophy offers practical tools for cultivating the aware ego and discernment. Let’s explore three key practices:
Viveka (Discernment):
What It Means: The ability to distinguish between what is real and what is illusory, what is beneficial and what is harmful.
Practice: Before making a decision, pause and ask yourself: “Is this aligned with my values? Is this truly beneficial for all involved?”
Leadership Application: Use discernment to navigate ethical dilemmas and make decisions that align with your purpose.
Svadhyaya (Self-Study):
What It Means: Regularly reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and actions to gain deeper self-understanding.
Practice: Spend 5–10 minutes each day reflecting on your decisions and their impact.
Leadership Application: Use self-study to identify unconscious patterns and biases that may influence your decisions.
Ishvara Pranidhana (Surrender to a Higher Purpose):
What It Means: Let go of the need to control every outcome and trust in a greater purpose.
Practice: Reflect on what you can and cannot control. Focus your energy on actions within your control and release attachment to the rest.
Leadership Application: Use surrender to navigate uncertainty and make decisions that align with your mission.
9.4 Case Study: The Leader Who Cultivated Discernment
James, a senior executive at a financial firm, faced a difficult ethical dilemma. His team had discovered a loophole that could generate short-term profits but posed long-term risks to clients. Inspired by the concept of the aware ego, James decided to approach the decision with discernment.
His Approach:
Viveka: He paused to reflect on the long-term consequences of the decision, asking: “Is this truly beneficial for our clients and our mission?”
Svadhyaya: He examined his own motivations, recognizing a desire to impress his superiors and a fear of missing out on profits.
Ishvara Pranidhana: He let go of his attachment to short-term gains and focused on the firm’s long-term mission of serving clients.
The Results:
Ethical Clarity: James decided to close the loophole, prioritizing client trust and long-term sustainability.
Stronger Leadership: His team respected his decision and felt more aligned with the firm’s values.
James’s Feedback: “Cultivating discernment transformed the way I make decisions. It’s not just about what’s right—it’s about seeing clearly and choosing wisely.”
9.5 The Meditation Coaching Protocol for Ethical Decision-Making
Integrating these practices into your decision-making process is simple and effective. Here’s how to get started:
Pause and Reflect:
Before making a decision, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself: “Is this aligned with my values? Is this truly beneficial for all involved?”
Examine Your Motivations:
Use self-study to identify unconscious patterns or biases that may influence your decision.
Ask: “What’s driving this decision? Am I reacting out of fear, pressure, or habit?”
Focus on What You Can Control:
Let go of attachment to outcomes and focus on actions within your control.
Ask: “What’s the next right step, regardless of the outcome?”
9.6 Skeptic FAQ: Addressing Doubts
“Isn’t Ethical Decision-Making Just Common Sense?”
While ethical decision-making may seem intuitive, it’s often complicated by unconscious biases, external pressures, and conflicting priorities. Discernment helps us navigate these complexities with clarity and integrity.
“What If I Make the Wrong Decision?”
Ethical decision-making isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being intentional. Even if you make a mistake, the process of reflection and discernment helps you learn and grow.
“How Do I Balance Ethics with Results?”
Ethics and results aren’t mutually exclusive—they’re interconnected. Decisions made with integrity build trust, loyalty, and long-term success.
9.7 Action Step: Try This Now
Building ethical decision-making skills starts with small, intentional actions. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you practice Viveka (Discernment) and make decisions with clarity and integrity:
Pause and Ground Yourself:
Before making a decision, take a moment to pause and ground yourself. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and set an intention to choose wisely.
Reflect on Your Values:
Ask yourself: “Is this decision aligned with my core values? Does it reflect who I am and what I stand for?”
Write down your values if needed, and use them as a guide for your decision-making.
Consider the Impact:
Reflect on the potential consequences of your decision for all stakeholders. Ask: “Who will be affected by this decision? How can I ensure it’s beneficial for everyone involved?”
For example, if you’re deciding on a new policy, consider its impact on employees, customers, and the broader community.
Examine Your Motivations:
Use Svadhyaya (Self-Study) to explore what’s driving your decision. Ask: “Am I reacting out of fear, pressure, or habit? Or am I acting from a place of clarity and purpose?”
For example, if you’re tempted to cut corners to meet a deadline, ask yourself if this aligns with your commitment to quality and integrity.
Seek Perspective:
Consult with trusted colleagues, mentors, or team members to gain additional insights. Ask: “What am I missing? How do you see this situation?”
Collaboration can help you see blind spots and make more informed decisions.
Take the Next Right Step:
Focus on what you can control and take the next right step, even if the outcome is uncertain. Ask: “What’s the most ethical and aligned action I can take right now?”
For example, if you’re unsure about a long-term strategy, focus on making a decision that aligns with your values in the short term.
By practicing these steps regularly, you’ll build your capacity for discernment and make decisions that reflect your highest values.
9.8 The Bigger Picture: Ethical Leadership as a Legacy
Ethical decision-making isn’t just about individual choices—it’s about creating a legacy of integrity and trust. When you lead with discernment, you inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect that extends far beyond your team or organization.
Why Ethical Leadership Matters:
Trust and Credibility: Leaders who make ethical decisions build trust with their teams, customers, and stakeholders.
Long-Term Success: Ethical decisions may require short-term sacrifices, but they lead to sustainable, long-term success.
Positive Impact: Ethical leadership creates a culture of integrity, where people feel valued and respected.
The Ripple Effect:
When you model ethical decision-making, you inspire others to do the same. Your actions create a culture of integrity, where people feel empowered to make choices that align with their values.
Example: A CEO who prioritizes ethical sourcing in their supply chain inspires their team to make decisions that benefit both the company and the environment. Over time, this commitment to ethics attracts like-minded partners and customers, creating a positive impact on a larger scale.
In the next chapter, we’ll explore how to cultivate compassionate accountability, balancing empathy with responsibility to create a culture of trust and growth.
9.9 Key Takeaways
The Aware Ego: The part of us that observes and integrates different aspects of ourselves, enabling clear and balanced decision-making.
Discernment (Viveka): The ability to distinguish between what is true and what is false, what is beneficial and what is harmful.
Traditional Practices: Discernment, self-study, and surrender are timeless tools for ethical decision-making.
Call to Action: Start small by practicing discernment and self-study in your daily decisions. Over time, these practices will transform the way you lead and inspire others.
